Part 123: Episode CXIII: Our Ill-Conceived Plan

Following Maester Mika's peace out and our carefully detailed battle stratagem of “defeating Sin by defeating Sin” laid out before Ghost Kid, we are unceremoniously dumped back onto the Fahrenheit. Everyone has a new piece to say now as we roll into the final battle against Sin.

Well... except for Kimahri. He hasn't bothered to make an appearance on or near the bridge and hell if I'm running all the way to the back of the ship to have him grunt at me. Fine. You don't want to participate with the obligatory final battle preamble naval gazing, cat dude? I'm going to enable your laziness.



"I must admit I was worried at the beginning, but you've done well. One more trial to pass. Our stories will end together.”
“...”
“Don't keep Jecht waiting. He never was a patient man."

I dunno. He's been a real champ this past month and change while we've been out training horse-birds and playing multiple seasons of blitzball.



“This will be a battle unmatched in the thousand years since Sin's birth. Spira without Sin... Why is it so hard to imagine?”
”What would we even do? Start attending music concerts? Play blitzball all day? And all the summoners would be out of work. It would be... strange.”
"Afterwards -- after we defeat Sin -- promise you'll stay with Yuna."
”...Hmm. Never thought I'd hear myself saying that when I met you.”
*nervous laugh* “Yeah... Of course. Totally. Mhm.”
*raises eyebrow*
“...Hey, Yuna!”



"Sorry, I was just thinking. We're... still going forward, right?"
“Yeah... I mean... we kinda GOTTA now. I think we threw the quit and retire plan out the window after we took out that Yunalesca lady, huh?”
“...Well, there is that too.”
"We can think about what will happen after we beat Sin, right?"



”...What kind of surprise?”
“Pfft... Something is probably gonna blow up, if I had to guess? Hopefully not something with us on it.”
“...”
"Can't wait till this is over so we can relax for a change!"
”That'd be nice. Assuming any of this works. Did we really put all our faith into that weird Yevon fanatic lady...? The more I think about that... Maybe not the greatest move...? We might as well told that old traveling scholar dude that gives all the super long history lessons.”
"Don't worry, we'll be fine! Everyone'll sing for us. I know it."



“I guess I didn't know anything about the Al Bhed.”



“I was a big jerk.”
[Hey, Rikku? Why's your beefy tanned clown looking friend telling me all this?]
[He used to be super racist about us Al Bhed, Pops.]
[Ah! Like stern look of disappointment racist or stick my shoe up his Yevonite ass racist?]
“...Uh?”
[Ehhhh... I think he's apologizing. Just hear him out.]
“...Alright. Keep talking, banana pants.”
“Umm... ya... as I was saying...”



“...”
*slouch* “I'm sorry, ya? Please forgive me."
"Don't let it bother ya.”



“There's a lot of folk in this world -- some of 'em good, *smacks lips* some of 'em bad. That's all there is to it.”
”Heck, I'm even gonna let the crap them Guado bastards did slide.”
“Really?”
“Aww yeah. Heard they're at the top of the Ronso folks' shit list. Ain't nothing me and my people can do any worse than a group of ticked off Ronso kicking in a few doors. Haha!”



"A Spira without Sin... Hard to imagine, ya?”

Everyone is going to feel real dumb with their hopes of stop Sin forever by killing Yu Yevon are shattered by the revelation that Yu Yevon is actually just a shell being piloted by a crafty villainous Moogle like some Matryoshka doll of villainy.





Finally, speaking with Cid will once more open up the Fahrenheit's level select. A new destination has appeared at the top of available options: Sin. Who seems to be chilling out somewhere around the Calm Lands, if that map is correct.

Right then, this is it! Time to go take on Sin. It's easy to forget that, beyond throwing a few blitzballs at one of its fins while it ignored us and shed Sin Spawn in its wake, we haven't actually directly engaged Sin at any point. I'm sure this will all go well.



"Yu Yevon's hiding somewhere inside Sin, and we're gonna find him."
"Well, that sounds pretty simple."
"Simple is the way you like it, right?"
"You got that right."



"Right, got you covered!"

Cid walks over to a computer console and fiddles with a few buttons...




New Music: Song of Prayer ~ Spira (This is actual present in-universe, so recommended listening.)







"A singing ship in the sky."



Everyone takes the time to listen to the lovely choir Cid dug up to sign the Hymn of the Fayth over the Fahrenheit's loudspeakers. Meanwhile, the cameraman zooms in on and focuses on Yuna's breasts until the hymn concludes. I thought you fired the drunk pervert cameraman after Zanarkand, Final Fantasy X!



"I hope everyone got the message."
”Half hour was enough to tell everyone in Spira to sing at once, ya?”
*shrug* “Maybe?”



“...fyhhy pa cdnuuuuuhk, E naymmo fyhhy pa dnicdat. Frah ymm ymuha eh so pat, E zicd ku ypuid oaynhehk E fyhhy pa luuuuuuum, E ymcu fyhhy pa mega res.”
“Pid dryd'c hud cusadrehk E lyh tu cu ayyyyceeeemo. Drec ec hud cesbmo so fyo, so cdoma. Kuddy kad y rumt uv so meeeeeva!”
“E fyhhy vmo reeekr. Cu E lyh naylr dra reeeekracd uv ymm dra rayjahc. Cusaputo femm pa fyedehk vun sa cu, E ryja kuuuud du vmo reeekranUR CRED!!!”









Well... that sure didn't take long!



Hey by the way, did you know Sin can fly? Yes, I know it was in that weird water sphere floating across Dream Zanarkand in the prologue. But naw, it doesn't need any aquatic vehicle. Apparently, Sin could just take off like a bird this entire time. Who knew?



Though, I suppose there is a precedence set for flying whales in the Final Fantasy series...



"How we gonna get inside?"
"The easy way! How else?"



"Well? Let's go!"
”Yeah, that didn't answer my question at all...”
“Don't sweat it! Just follow my lead.”
“...Eh. Fine. Why start thinking about it too hard now, ya?”
“Right on!”




Music: Attack





Yuna and Tidus exchange one last nod before the entire party awkwardly shuffles out to do... Whatever it is we are doing!



Yes. Thank you! Cid! Please make these idiots explain how they are going to dig their way through the guts of the flying doom whale that can disintegrate armies. Please tell me it is not running up to it, hitting it with pointy instruments, and hoping for the best.



Nope... That's exactly what we're doing. We are going to jump on Sin and stab a hole into it. Yep. Sure. Why not? Video games!





Cid laughs his ass off at how the solution to the millennium old Sin problem is three teenagers, a couple of 20-somethings, a cat guy and a zombie middle-aged man just running up and punching it in the face. Hey, what happens if Yu Yevon can just go “nah” at dying like every vaguely important person and becomes an Unsent undead flying doom whale pilot? Ah... You know what? Forget it... Carry on.



"Aha! Of course!"
"Of course!"
”Exactly.”
“No doubt.”
“Mhm!”
“Yep!”
“...”
“...What are we talking about?”
“Don't worry. You'll see.”
“...Mm'kay?”
“Hey, you got your dumb non-plans. I got mine. Just roll with what comes.”
"All right! We'll give that thing a new blowhole. All you gotta do is jump!"
"Roger!"
"I won't tell ya to be careful. Do your worst, kiddo!"
*fist pump* "Roger!"





Pictured: The look of Tidus realizing nobody is piloting the ship.



*clears throat*



That's kind of sweet Brother learned a bit of English so he could tell Tidus to keep his sister safe. Ignore the whole bit about Tidus having learned Al Bhed. The game sure will continue to do so!



Brother becomes fluent in English by the time Final Fantasy X-2 rolls around. He speaks with a thick vague Eastern European accent despite the rest of his family sounding American when not speaking Al Bhed. He also really REALLY wants to bone Yuna, his cousin, and becomes an insane wacky creep. Brother and Rikku do incredible quantities of drugs between games and kill untold amounts of brain-cells in the process.



Ducking into the main corridor of the Fahrenheit, we have one last opportunity to shop with Rin prior to the big upcoming battle.



This is all overpriced garbage to us at this point. But I guess it's nice we're not locked in after choosing to go take on Sin. Final Fantasy X is, at least, pretty good about that.



“But of course. Once Sin is gone, we'll need to be rebuilding Home, you see.”
“Man, your dedication is... really astounding.”

Oh Rin, you scumbag merchant until the end. Speaking of which... isn't O'aka still locked in Bevelle's dungeons thanks to Yuna and friends? Hahaha. Whoops! Look, we had a busy schedule in Bevelle meeting world leaders and powerful ghosts. We cannot be expected to remember every little thing, now can we? O'aka probably would have ended up in prison even without our help.







Anyway, it's up to the outer hull of the Fahrenheit. Remember that time we murdered a curious Cactuar wanting to see the world out here by tossing it off the side of the ship to its death so we could loot its village? Good times.


Music: Song of Prayer ~ Spira



"I can hear the song!"
"Yes, I can hear the Hymn, too."
"They listened to us!"









“Hm?”





*gasp*





Yuna pats herself down like she'd been pick-pocketed. Yuna, how did you fail to notice you'd misplaced a baseball sized globe out from... err... where were you even storing that? Up your giant detached sleeves? The big bow attached to your butt? Taped to one of your combat boots? Your options are quite limited on that outfit.







“...”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“You know those video spheres are incredibly expensive, right?”
“I did not.”
“And re-usable...”
“...”
“...”
“Also no...”





Yeah, Yuna. You definitely won't need any sort of postmortem message to loved ones after you perish defeating Sin.


Music: Crisis





I mean what would be the point? They're all going to die with you now! That whole thing was a big waste of time.



I'll go ahead an post a video of the rest of the update below. You'll probably want to watch that.


Video: Click to See Sin When It Gets Pissed (Recommended Viewing!)



So Sin was just trying to enjoy himself listening to the Hymn of the Fayth as sung by the choir of all of Spira (I think we can official determine Spira is roughly the size of Rhode Island once and for all.) Then along came this airship and Jecht sees his son fucking littering! Where do you think that discarded video sphere is going, Tidus? Right in the ocean. And now some seal or a pelican is going to try to swallow it and choke to death. I hope you're happy! Cuz Sin definitely is not!







Indeed, Sin is incredibly pissed at Tidus' careless pollution and powers up an energy shot. Remember how the one that disintegrated the Crusaders' army and annihilated a ten story Al Bhed Tesla Cannon and was only the size of your average Kamehameha wave?



Yeah, the gravity well of energy used to charge up this one is creating a localized hurricane...



...and also possibly shifting the orbit of the moon slightly. Or at least drawing some debris from it. I'm sure all the coastal settlements in Spira will be fine. What's a little tidal shift?









And so Sin unleashes its attack. Remember, Sin is basically a gravity elemental. Indeed, according to supplementary materials on Final Fantasy X, Sin's body hovers up any wayward pyreflies and grows stronger just by cruising around since its a giant gravity well doom whale.





Knowing Sin takes a giant space whale shit on gravity, enjoy the interesting visuals its attack has made.



Music abruptly ends...









Gah! Asian Stunt Double Rikku! You are so off-model. Couldn't they cast someone with the same skin tone or hair color? Hell, even the make-up department couldn't keep the lipstick colors straight. Dreadful.



“Huh...? Hmm... Oooh! Oh!”



Moses ain't got shit on Sin.



*gasp* “WHOA!”


Music: Crisis



You idiots didn't think it was going to stay a big gravity anomaly like that, did you?



”Okay! OKAY! It's fine. It's fine! It's just a buncha water! We're on an airship! It'll be fi—”





“Oh shit... OH SHIT! OH SHIIIIIIT!”





Welp. That went about as well as could be expected. Yeah. I wasn't expecting Final Fantasy X to end on such a sudden bummer note as the entire party being incinerated in a fiery explosion either.



But, I mean what did you think would happen when taking on 1,000 year old walking natural disaster with offensive capabilities so powerful that they're visible from space? Running up and hitting Sin with swords. Pfft... honestly... You should be glad Sin put this much effort into the affair.






Video: Episode 113 Highlight Reel (Recommended Viewing)





Amano's Sin Concept Art